I saw a black bear in the woods today! So neat... I was reading in one of the many comfortable chairs at Kripalu this afternoon and a woman near by told me that she had seen a bear. Wow! So that's when we went out to see if it was still around, and it was. It was far enough off the trail that I really wasn't worried. The bear didn't seem concerned, either. She looked at us and then looked away and looked again. So cool.
I was also thinking about repressed anger today after this morning's practice:
Anger in the unconscious mind knows no bounds because it lives in a totally creative and limitless realm. When this kind of anger bubbles through into conscious understanding the images can be really horrible because it was repressed in the lawless subconscious. The ordinary rules of good manners fail here.
It takes "knowing yourself" into a totally different place to see and feel the things that have been hidden. And strangely enough I feel greater compassion having seen what I saw today. I am humbled by my insight.
This came from an experience in yoga today, from a long hold in the pigeon pose. Seane Corn was saying some nice words about forgiveness and I seemed to take a psychic dump about someone I had some repressed anger about. And it was UGLY!
This is something that can happen during yoga. Sometimes people have realizations. I have gone through the motions of forgiving this person a couple times already, but I now see clearly that there is anger. My body told me. I saw it. And I am not ignoring it. However, seeing the depth of this particular wound humbles me. My mind can say, "I forgive you," and this might be a lie. There is a deeper reality where even if you want to forgive because it looks like life would be easier if you did, you can't choose forgiveness from the mental realm. There is a truth, a heart truth. I'm mad as hell, and I can't talk or think my anger away. Since it looks like I can't choose not to have this anger I find myself wondering if the solution lies in faith and prayer. I'm not trying to go religious on anyone, here, I just know that the way I've been doing it up to now is not working, and a bit of fresh air seems to be offering itself from a larger perspective.
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