Thursday, November 24, 2011

I Forgive Thanksgiving.

Here a couple of things that I forgive about Thanksgiving:

1. It can seem to be a time of fake behavior, a time of pretending and make-believe… "Yes" we really like :) and enjoy one another—not always true…

I forgive my perceptions of fake behavior. I am a sensitive lass, which means I really feel things, which also means that I may feel your subconscious sleights. "You," (I am digging deep here, so please don't assume that I actually mean you.) I'm pretty sure are somewhat unaware of how your behaviors affect me. I've allowed myself—once again somewhat unknowingly—to be entertaining, or perhaps I was somewhat occupied by, victim-style interfacing with situations.

Victim-style interfacing means to me that I am looking to others to define my self-worth. I look to you to see if I'm likable or worthy, or I look to you to tell me how to feel about myself when I am coming from what I have come to know as my victim filter.

When I am using my victim OS (operating system) I am wide open and vulnerable to attack, and am also available to be harmed by "friendly fire" which is known to come from someone you love who happens to be in a bad mood or a challenging situation.

So I also forgive my victim OS, and I'll try to be better at recognizing if I've forgotten to use my software upgrade—I need to make sure that I'm using the right version of my OS, else I can experience a system crash, as evidenced by a negative-thought avalanche, when I am interfacing with the buggy software of my friends and family. (Of course I also acknowledge my own "bugs" or glitches… I did in some detail just above.)

2. I'm ashamed of a culture that appears to celebrate dominance, greed, violence, and victories achieved through slaughter. Thanksgivings were celebrations of the massacres of native North Americans in the 1600s.

I've always felt embarrassed about the displays of abundance associated with Thanksgiving. It always seemed to say, "We are the fortunate/blessed/rich people." This is dependent on others being less fortunate. Instead of over-filling our bellies, wouldn't it be better to share?

Well I've decided to forgive the situation, in favor of appreciating the good of people getting together around the topic of gratitude. It's great to be thankful for what we have.

I just hope that we can remember the people who are beyond our own dinner tables, too… (I find myself wanting to remember the living, the dead and those yet to be born in my prayers today.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

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