Now that I know my stories--better than most people (I am sure)--it is time to ignore those meanings that past events bring to my current reality. I have taken the time to write and know myself to a point that is either extraordinary or selfish. And what I see right now is the need to "just get really good at the everyday stuff," as a friend recently said about her life.
I have flown high. I have gone far into the previously uncharted terrain inside myself. Admittedly, I have been more introspective than most. And it seemed so important to do this and to honor my own life.
A friend who recently got back from India showed me a picture that was taken inside a little dark room, like a cave. Just discernable, there was a man there who was apparently, according to my friend, well over 100 years old. Someone, a seeker I suppose, had placed their head in the man's lap, and the man was stroking the persons hair. How beautiful, I thought, and so different from things here. I thought of Amma, the hugging saint. People stand in incredible lines to wait for her hug. And that's it. So simple: a hug, stroking of hair, and this fills a need for people. And I think I get it. In looking at the picture, I found myself thinking how wonderful it would be to place my head in his lap and feel my hair stroked by those wise hands...
I have fears that hover around certain things that sometimes prevent me from doing what needs to be done, giving birth to unhealthy habit patterns. So now that I understand a good deal about why this happens, it is actually time to let go and move forward. ...and accept the hugs where I can get 'em!
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