Tapas, Staying on Task!

During the muggy Ohio summers when I was growing up, I would watch a soap opera here and there. It was cool in the air conditioning in front of the TV. Maybe I had already been to the pool, or I was just hanging around the house eating frozen Eskimo Pies. And even though I thought they were cheesy, due to my young age, I couldn’t help but look to daytime dramas to learn about adult life (however ill-advised that is). I remember the shots that indicated that the character (usually female) was going into fantasy or dream-state. The shot would zoom in on her face and get blurry or wavy, fading into the fantasy scene. This is where she would imagine something wonderful like a romantic scene with a hot guy, or where she would imagine something terrible like her man cheating on her. Then the fantasy would fade back to the one who was dreaming. Real life is a little like that. I find myself going into fantasies, and then wanting to stay on task and do the work of my life without deluding myself.

The five aspects of Niyama, or personal observances, are just that: personal. They govern the realm that other people don’t necessarily know about. Tapas, the third observance, is discipline.

“The word discipline means to learn—not control, subjugate, imitate, and conform. Discipline means to learn. From the word discipline comes “disciple,” one who is willing to learn from the master, to learn. But here there is neither a disciple nor a master but only the act of learning all the time. And that requires great deal of attention, a great deal of energy, so that you are watching this and thus, you create no illusions. It is easy to create illusions; they come when you are pursuing, demanding, wanting, an experience. Desire creates illusions.”

-by J. Krishnamurti, Total Freedom, p. 287

When I see that I’m lost in thought, I bring attention to my breath, the room I’m in, or I focus on the lips of the person who’s talking to me. I try to bring myself to the task at hand, whether it’s listening, walking, or doing my laundry. It is not easy to stay present. It is easy to go off into fantasy or illusion, as the Krishnamurti quote points out. And it is an easy road to self-gratification to imagine something wanted, even to the point of neglecting what is truly there. But, in the long term it’s easy to see the pitfalls of this habit. If I am spending time in fantasy, I am not using this time to do all the small things necessary to live my life fully.

Fantasy can be dangerous because it leaves a memory and it can affect how you relate with others, and harm relationships because these thoughts are probably not true. The only way you can know what is going on with someone else is to ask questions, listen to answers, and watch behavior. Even if something feels true, it might not be. I am reminded of Meryl Streep’s character in the movie Doubt who did things based on her “certainty” rather than facts. Experiences of certainty and power are seductive but should always be tempered with feedback from the world. This requires that someone looks, asks questions, and listens, bringing learning into important decisions.

In terms of the yoga practice, there are certain poses that a seasoned practitioner might have done hundreds or thousands of times. Tapas is what makes it possible to continue to learn in the face of repetition. The discipline is to remain aware. So if the yoga practice ever gets boring, or you find yourself thinking about other things, like a soap opera fantasy during practice, it is useful to see what is happening—awareness is dull. During practice if you are breathing well and feeling the pose through all the cells of the body and adjusting accordingly, and noticing the pose building, and seeing when it begins to fail—awareness is sharp.

It’s good to realize that experience includes times when we’re sharp and times when we’re dull. And when we can learn to identify our mental states, we can to begin to work with our selves. Tapas or discipline helps us stay with it. Don’t take the easy path of illusions. Take the path of learning.

When I see that I’ve been daydreaming I can to shift my attention to awareness of the present moment, and let things unfold from there, instead of trying to control experience with my imagination.

Niyama for Revolutionary Road

Niyama offers tenets that can help harmonize our inner lives. Some might wonder why we should focus on our inner worlds. Doesn’t the outer one provide enough challenge? It may. But consider the situation in the movie Revolutionary Road. The challenges of the characters are similar to challenges that most people face. And even though I didn’t especially enjoy this movie, it does do a great job of illustrating the concept of emptiness and hopelessness of giving up dreams to live life in the suburbs. The main characters find themselves giving up their uniqueness to adhere to conventional behavior. But it doesn’t work out very well for the characters in the movie, and the only person who can speak freely is someone who has a day pass from the insane asylum. Pretty sad. I found myself feeling a little crazy just watching this film.

But I think that if Kate Winslet’s character could have just explored herself a little more she might have been able to find balance. She was concerned with creating space for her cutie-pie hubby, Leonardo DiCaprio, to discover himself. But her character’s personality seemed so strong. If she could have just taken a class or something (so she would have been growing something inside herself along with children) I think she might have fared better. But the movie starts out by showing her personal dream failing, and sets us up for her feelings of hollowness and hopelessness that the mentally ill guy helps us to understand. This family’s downfall is that they couldn’t accept themselves, and found themselves faking it and lying to get through the hours.

What does this have to do with yoga?

It has everything to do with yoga, because what yoga presents is the possibility for inner transformation. And the character’s downfall is a failure of their inner worlds. It’s pretty common that the first set of life plans don’t work out exactly as planned. So this movie presents a pretty dismal version of this. The characters give up. Life is too much for them. Desperate and ghastly measures are taken. But in lives that are living (as opposed to screen characters) there are opportunities for renewal. We can dream new dreams—even in the suburbs.

Niyama is the second of the eight limbs of yoga. It offers a strategy for attuning oneself toward positive change, and discovering oneself. It has five aspects that are concerned with the personal life of a yogi:

1. Saucha – purity
2. Santosa – contentment
3. Tapas – discipline
4. Svadhyaya – self-study
5. Isvara-pranidhana – surrender

These five principles set the stage for positive personal growth. Niyama guides us to relate with ourselves consciously. In the world it’s easy to forget about oneself in striving to fit in. There is so much going on and so much distraction. That’s why the first limb, Yama, brings attention to behaviors that are harmful, to take away that draw on our valuable resources. And so we have some energy to devote to ourselves.

The principles of Niyama outline a plan for taking care of oneself. Saucha has to do with inner and outer cleanliness. Santosa calls for the cultivation of contentment. Tapas is the discipline to stay with it. With Svadhyaya, or self-study we can observe the effects of practice and study. And Isvara-pranidhana is surrendering to the truth, or to a greater sense of reality. It takes into account that the world is bigger than oneself. Things happen that are out of our control.

Niyama outlines a compassionate approach for making changes. I have heard people say that they are stuck, even trapped in their lives. It’s usually best to start with something simple, and to follow through with it. Recently, I made a positive change. I always do some yoga practice (even if it’s only thirty minutes) before the first private session or group class I teach. What was previously holding me back was that I regularly teach 7am classes and my travel time is almost an hour. So I have early mornings, and was sometimes just showing up to teach as if that was enough. But I have found that the extra time for practice before teaching is essential. Practice later in the day is good but it doesn’t sharpen my senses for teaching the way early practice does. This change requires discipline (Tapas) to ensure that I persist with it. The practice clears my mind (Saucha) so I can be more accurate in my teaching. I watch the effects of this practice (Svadhyaya). And I feel good about my work (Santosa). And above all, I surrender to the truth of the moment (Isvara-pranidhana).