Examples of consent:
Enthusiastically agreeing, asking permission, and giving permission, or to be given permission to do something is to be given consent.
"Yes, I want to!" "Yes, I want you to..." are examples of consenting words and can also be enhanced by physically moving closer, eye contact, a full and pleasant breath, and other non-verbal cues...
Includes saying "no," "I'm not sure," "Not today," can also be expressed by breaking eye contact, a pause in breathing, moving away a little or a lot, or other non-verbal cues...
Consent can be withdrawn at any moment, even after something has started.
In a consensual situation, if someone changes their mind, then the activity stops.
Consent is respectful, self-esteem supporting, and pleasure supporting. I really have trouble understanding the impulse to do something that affects someone else without including the other person, including finding out what they think and noticing how they physically respond, in the process of choosing to go forward, or deciding not to do it.
Choosing to consent, or enthusiastically and mutually agreeing, can include choosing to participate in or create something sexual and also to take ownership of what is happening. This can be difficult if someone is a female-bodied person and they were taught that women should be innocent, which can necessitate checking out in sexual situations, because on some level they are convinced, perhaps not totally consciously, that they will be more likable and more likely to be a valid candidate for protection and safety if they maintain a patina of innocence in their psychology. What a false situation this might create! Because meanwhile this person might have real needs including expression of sexuality, but at the same time having been taught that staying little girl-like might mean that they would be safe. And besides that, the idea of being safe because of some idea of what someone thinks is a crock!
I've put some ideas about Creating a Consensual Culture at Root Wisdom Yoga. Root Wisdom Yoga is my chosen baby, and I plan to publish a new article there every week. You can "Like" Root Wisdom Yoga on Facebook. Thank you! You can "follow me" on Twitter. Thanks so much!
And you can read my latest article at Root Wisdom Yoga: Creating a Consensual Culture. Yes! I am celebrating us figuring this out together!