Yoga Pain Playground

Situations in and around yoga can provide helpful learning points. It's not always just the practice, but also in the teaching and learning about yoga there can be opportunities for self-acceptance and emotional growth.

I was assisting in a therapeutic yoga class when the quick hand movement of a teacher caused a dense wooden brick to fall on my right big toe. When it happened I said, "Ouch!" Then I quickly covered up with: "I'm okay." I wanted to free up the moment so that we could get on with the session. But I was distracted by the emotional sense that I was hiding my hurt. The yoga teacher continued the instruction, fulfilling expectations.

My toe was fine, but my emotions were out of kilter! I wondered how I could balance myself without crying all over the student. So before the teacher left I looked into his eyes and said, "That hurt my toe."

And he said,"I could see that: I'm sorry."

Somehow this admission that I had been hurt, and that I had been heard and acknowledged, helped me to go forward with clarity.

When I was looking at the bottled up feelings, and feeling overwhelmed by them, it looked like feelings I had had as a kid--and totally out of proportion with what had happened in yoga on that day. This event brought up for me the time from the ages of about seven to eleven when there was someone in my life who had administered sudden painful punishments in an effort to control my behavior. Of course, I did not wish to be controlled in this crude and brutal way and I often didn't understand, and couldn't predict when these strikes were coming. So I learned to deny my pain in an effort to keep my sanity.

To keep a level head in situations where this person who was bigger than me was unleashing their anger without restraint, I learned to deny the pain. I now see that it hurt me so much, and that my truth--that I had been hurt--was important.

So when that inner pain came up in the yoga scenario described above, I was able to clear it by being truthful. And everything got lighter after that. Small interactions can have big healing effects.

Emotional Warmth

I am enjoying the emotional warmth of a hot cup of chai at The Grind café in Chicago. There was a study published in the journal Science showing a connection between holding a warm beverage and feelings of emotional warmth. My experience agrees. At an old job I shared “tea time” with a friend at around 3-4 pm. This may have encouraged the bond of friendship that remains today. And the experience of having a warm bowl of oatmeal just feels good emotionally, as well as hot soup. Some salons already seem to get this, and it is nice to be offered a warm beverage when entering a business. It is very comforting.

But, I guess I want to be aware, and not just manipulated by the pull toward animal comfort. For example I love to go to coffee houses to just read, use the Wi-Fi, or as a nice break between teaching engagements. But, one can become addicted to personal comforts. And in this country it seems to be a goal to earn more money to purchase more comforts. I’m okay with a simple lifestyle. Yet being too tuned in with my emotional comfort can certainly woo me toward complacency. And the fact is that I believe that I’m here to contribute my efforts to the world in the best way I can. And if I’m hiding this impulse under the enjoyment of lattes all day—it’s no good!

That said I also think it’s helpful to know if I’m feeling emotionally cold or anxious that a hot cup of tea might be helpful to be in the mental space I want (or maybe I can just pet my bunnies). Yesterday I found this to be of use when I was doing some tasks in my apartment I had been anxious about. I did a little work, and then drank a little tea. And repeated as necessary: some working, some tea drinking, and some bunny petting.

Welcome, Emotions!

My new class, LifeForce yoga is going really well. Students are courageously experiencing themselves honestly. This is “feel your feelings” yoga.

In a recent class, one person laughed a few times. Another had tears after savasana. And yet another wasn’t experiencing any dramatic emotion. As teacher, I encourage the experience of emotion when it naturally shows up in class. I say, let it run its course. During yoga practice is a safe time to do this.

According to Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. (My Stroke of Insight), when emotions are triggered, it takes 90 seconds for the emotion to show up, “surge through” the body, “and then be flushed out” of the blood stream. Physiologically, the experience can be short, but if a person hooks into the emotion mentally it can last much longer. So, there is a choice when working with the emotions.

In yoga practice (as well as in life), I can be empowered by this information. When an emotion comes up, and I realize that I’ve been triggered, I then bring my attention to the physical experience and breathe. This allows me to experience the feeling as it moves through me, and honors my truth (which I can choose to act on when timing is appropriate).

But, if I focus only on the story lines that might come up about why I’m feeling this way, it can give my mind too much power, thereby continuing to trigger and even intensify the emotional response of my body. My choice is to bring my attention to the ever-changing flow of feelings in my body to help me clarify my mental, physical, and emotional space.

This process is spiritual house cleaning, clearing the space for me to connect authentically with myself, instead of confusing old wounds for my essential being. Potentially, this is also laying groundwork that strengthens my overall personality structure.

Feet embrace the solid ground, spirit soars, heart loves, and hands create in service of spirit. When I can walk in the world in this embodied and connected way, the experience of life is uplifting, and I am a positive energy source.